What is forgiveness? I looked at a few definitions and thought I’d mark them down for you.

It is the act of excusing a mistake or offense.

Forgiveness is the mental and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment .

The free gift of God whereby, upon sincere repentance, the believer's sins are forgiven and he or she is put into right standing with God.

A choice the forgiver makes to let go of resentment held in the forgiver's mind of a perceived wrong or difference, either actual or imagined .

We are all responsible for the level of our personal happiness – this I believe firmly. What we choose to harbour and hold within is who we are bound to become. If we walk around with sadness within us we will ultimately become sad beings. If we walk around with hatred we will ultimately become hateful beings. The same is true with forgiveness. If we are able forgive we will become forgiving beings free from our own entrapment.

Forgiveness has incredible power and enables us as beings to move on to greater things in life. When we think forgiveness we must also think of forgiving ourselves at the same token as we’re willing to forgive the wrong doer. Often we blame ourselves for the harm others do to us. We think: “If I did not go there it would not have happened”. Thinking like this will eventually make us fearful to go out. We also have thoughts like: “If I did not say this that would not have happened”. Should we be mutes? Also: “If I allowed her to do it her way she would never had the need to rebel”. This may all be probable, but unnecessary to blame yourself for a thing that was inevitable anyway. Forgive yourself first. Say, I forgive myself for allowing him to hurt me, I forgive myself for allowing her to take advantage of me, I forgive them for taking away from me....etc. This in my I believe is a very powerful and enabling tool. It equips one with the ability to really and truly forgive another. Forgiving people is truly liberating as it opens your heart and mind to the reality of how fallible we all truly are. We are so conditioned not to make mistakes that we forget to live sometimes. Forgiving others also makes you aware that it’s ok for yourself to mess up from time to time and then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move along. You have only one chance to live your life. Every choice you make will either make or break situations in our lives, but we have to keep on living this one life. Forgive.

Now of course I am not suggesting we should be completely oblivious to the deliberate evil and common destruction of some individuals out there. Be aware; be very aware of your foes as they are real. But it’s probably not even your fault that they are the nasty buggers they are. They are angry at the bully from their past, their daddy did not love them, their mommy never felt it important to hug them, their lives are not what they want it to be, so they want to make your life a misery too. Forgive them, and move away as fast and far away from them as possible.

I once asked someone to forgive me for something I had done. I felt true remorse for the pain I caused that person. My intentions were not to cause hurt or pain, but I did so inadvertently. My motive was selfish and spurred on by the moment, not thinking of the consequences. Be that as it may, I take full responsibility for the repercussions of my actions. When I asked the injured party of my actions to forgive me, the person told me only God has the power to forgive. Even though I understood that very well (and I asked God to forgive me) it still seems necessary for me to get the forgiveness of the person I had hurt. I made peace with it now as I cannot change the past. I must now soar gracefully on the wings of my own forgiveness and learn from the very dear price I have to pay for that mistake. I trust that one day that person will be able to forgive me for what my actions caused.

Another definition for forgiveness could be - giving up my right to hurt you, for hurting me. It is impossible to live on this fallen planet without getting hurt, offended, misunderstood, lied to, and rejected.