Monday, January 19, 2009

Barack Obama – The Global President in the USA

This is a day we can all sigh with relief as America and the world looks at fundamental change is leadership. With Barack & Michelle Obama in the White House we can be assured that the issue of race discrimination will be an in your face issue for as long as the Obama’s will reign and hopefully beyond. I pray that the wave of change washes us clean from all the prejudice way of thinking. Maybe this is exactly the time for us to change our mindset and become an all inclusive nation of the world.


Like the late struggle icon – Rev. Martin Luther King Jnr. – said; “Judge a man by the content of his character and not the colour of his skin”. This was a man with a mighty voice and spirit and would not give up his fight and believe in justice for all. In his famous – I had a dream – speech he said; “But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so, we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice”. He believed that one day equality shall reign and all will have the same grounds in their pursuit to happiness. Barack Obama cashed his check and today will reap the reward that is rightfully his through what he had sown. Barack Obama’s victory is a milestone for all of us of colour and indeed a stepping stone to eradicate the racial divide for all of colour and all who is white. I love the fact that President Obama knows and says it out loud, he cannot walk alone and therefore called on all Americans – in the same breath all should realise they cannot turn back. Thank you Martin Luther King for providing sustenance for all African American to believe in and for sacrificing your life in doing what we all believe is right. One more quote from Rev. King Jnr.






“I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."
That day has come and it is today where the world of politics will never be the same since the release of our very own Nelson Mandela from his unfair imprisonment. Today the Americans too will experience true freedom.

Today the world will take a page from the book of the USA and we will learn how it is done by the leading nation of the world. Maybe now I too will learn to love America. Maybe my mindset about American mentality will change too. President Obama your plate is full, yet I believe your cup runneth over.

God Bless the Obama’s. God Bless this world we live in. God Bless Africa, America, Asia and all the other continents this day. May peace reign!









Mr. Loyiso Bala – Artist Extraordinaire

Yesterday was an awesome day as almost weeks of anticipation reached absolute climax. It was the concert of Loyiso Bala which had both men and woman stunned by his suave moves on stage and golden voice in true star performance. Coming from a musical familial back ground (raised in the Eastern Cape) shined through in the absolute vocal confidence of this heartthrob of a performer




Loyiso has always been one of my favourite South African R&B male artists. This dude went to Drakensburg High where one must no doubt be able to put a nightingale to shame when you open your mouth to sing before you’re even allowed to set foot in the all boys school grounds. So did the 2 brothers (big bro Zwai and baby bro Phelo ) who joined Loyiso to form the R&B version of the 3 tenors – they call themselves (appropriately) the Bala Brother. These three brothers from Drakensburg Boys High rocked the crowd in Kirstenbosch yesterday in true stellar style. They gave all of us - South Africans - something to be proud of – home brewed music in the natural sanctuary (Kirstenbosch) at the foot of the majestic Table Mountain. Viva South Africa viva, Viva Ubuntu viva!





On our way home from the concert a friend said, “it’s a miracle that one set of parents can conceive and raise 3 individuals with such immense talents”. Well there is no denying that factor, because it’s not often we see that sort of collaboration in South Africa indeed. Pappa and Mamma Bala, we salute you as you may be proud of the fruits of your groins – the true blessing from an Almighty God.

Loyiso Bala my hero (only because he’s the over achiever I strive to be) is a hard working man who says he is consistent in his approach to work. He’s success has been his train following him for almost a decade in the eye of us mere public mortals. At the age of 19 Mr. Bala was the youngest National Youth Choir Conductor. Pursuing his academics at Unisa (University of South Africa) this over achiever was put in the UISA Book of Honour for achieving 95% in a music exam. He has won many SAMA (South African Music Awards), multi accolades from Metro FM. The talented Mr. Loyiso Bala also landed some practical acting roles in local series such as Back Stage and Tsha Tsha that are worth noting indeed. Being so busy with concerts, interviews, television he gave a several Albums and Singles to listen to over the past decade or so. Now at not even 30 yet, this superstar has a passport boasting of all his international travels he has under his belt. That’s not all – the rumour mill spins with stories of him doing international collaborations with internationally renowned artists in the UK and USA. Keep it up Loyiso! We your fans love you and will support you for as long as you remain a muso of star quality as you are!


Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Change - A Virtue

Over the years I’ve become very friendly with my doctor who was a great moral supporter of the transitions in my life. He coached me in many aspects of my methods in making business decisions as well as how to manage the emotional aspect of my private life. I suffered from depression over a period of years and did not quite know how to deal with it or what caused it. We later discovered that I’m not very good with handling change in my life. I also suffered abandonment issues in my younger years which decided to surface in my early to mid 20’s. Thanks to therapy things now have changed.

Sometimes we get so caught up with the idea of how we think our life is or should be that we don’t look at the reality of what is going on around us or even inside of us. I for example was the typical control freak with the type “A” personality to equal it. Everything had to go according to how I planned it, even the weather and my team’s health and circumstances. This all because I did not want to deal with failure or change for that matter. Much of how I planned things in the past was carved in stone and not open for change – unless I instigated and controlled that change. Needless to say I hated surprises. This of course made me a very boring and anal individual in the eyes of many. However I was still a very successful; boring and anal individual with that method. Much to be said about that I’m sure. I had a stress level of note and lived of digestives for the heartburn caused by stress and tension. Anyway, I am digressing now.

I’ve actually lost my train of thought now because I’m writing in stages and are being interrupted by calls, online chats, etc...omg...is that the type A personality coming back. Be gone satan!

Nevertheless, what I actually want to get to is that change can actually be a good and necessary mania in one’s life. Of course depending on how we decide to look at it and what we prefer to do with the needed change. The psychology of change is not very straight forward; I wish to challenge those who states the contrary. Change is scary to anyone, whether we wish to admit and acknowledge that factor or not.

Change is not essentially a bad thing and it does not have to be daunting or difficult either. (Of course it all depend on the level of change, I’m not completely daft J) Change comes with a desire to transform and that could mean one thing – improvement. Change does not always have to be enforced if we embrace it a little easier. The good news here is the only person that can change YOUR mind is YOU! Change is impossible if you don’t allow or accept it. Our minds are really more powerful than we realise in such that it has the ability to create perceptions for us. If our mind says change is creepy, change will appear creepy no doubt. If we allow ourselves to be crippled by our minds and give in to limited thinking, guess what – the result is obvious. By limiting our thinking we limit our experiences and hence our personal growth and development is destined to these limitations. We can all start changing the way you think by embracing change.

Change does not have to be the boogy man under the bed or the werewolf of that pathetic movie you once saw. Start believing that you are change and that you can be the change you want to see (hey Ghandi said that!). Now it is important to realise that change does not happen over night, nor does embracing change. So realise that change is a process and that it will take time. You can bet that it will take you places you've never dreamt of either. So, buckle up and enjoy the ride and the people you’re bound to meet on the journey too, as change becomes an inclusive matter. Change can be exciting and very empowering if embraced in a positive manner. Life in itself is complex enough we don’t need to make it harder than it is. My mom always told me; life is not as easy as pie, but it also does not have to be as hard as my head. I never understood what she meant by that – still not sure if I do.

So; I wish to encourage you today to accept change. Become that changed person!
Change your negatives and turn them into positives
Turn your fears into fearlessness.
Become the victor instead of the victim.
Conquer and face up to your suppressions.
Turn the imbalances into balances (just like I did with my former type “A personality”)
Become converted into a whole and discard the brokenness.
Let the ill thoughts become wholesome and constructive ones by realising these are ill thoughts.

And for a CHANGE – let me know what you think of my BLOG.

Friday, January 9, 2009

My Identity - Am I an African?

Why is it that I never learned another language other than the 2 I grew up with in my township? I think because my parents and I was oblivious of the importance of communication. May I even call the area I grew up in a township? According to many a township is where black people were forced to live in under the apartheid regime. Well; I was forced to live in my area at the time of apartheid, so in my mind it will be a township. I am of no “significant” ethnic group that speaks a distinctive language for example Xhosa, Zulu, Tswana, Tsonga, etc. I am what many natives of South Africa prefer to call “coloured”. Apparently the Americans infer the term coloured to be derogatory or distasteful. I’ve experienced this first hand many a night out in town making conversation with an American tourist who would (interestingly) ask me what my race is and wait for me to make the horrible mistake and say I’m “coloured”.

Former President Thabo Mbeki’s “I’m an African” speech so eloquently describes me for who I feel I truly am. A man born on the African continent, with a darker than white skin yet lighter than dark skin – that is what I am. I am a man, a colleague, a friend, a brother, a son – that is who I am. Does my ethnicity matter to you? Why? Does it make me more or less of a person that the others? Does it give me more or less rights than others? Should I be treated as less or more favourable that my brother with the darker or lighter skin?

Why don’t I speak Xhosa, Zulu, Tswana, Tsonga or any other ethnic language? Should I not have made the effort by now to speak an ethnic language? If I am an African, should I not speak an African language? Have I found myself living in the comfort zone created for me by my circumstances? Am I not a part of the people I call my people…Africans? Should I learn to speak French and Portuguese like some of my African brothers on other parts of continent? Does my identity lie in the language I speak? If so why? Does my identity lie in the tone of my skin? If so why?

I observe the injustices of the present day and I mourn for the lack of tolerance of a nation. A beautiful land with so much potential, yet risk consuming itself by the shallowness of what the eye behold and the mind perceive to be “more or less”. Well, you know what maybe the former president’s speech will clarify any future concerns of what my nationality really is.
Read it for yourself:
I am an African.
I owe my being to the hills and the valleys, the mountains and the glades, the rivers, the deserts, the trees, the flowers, the seas and the ever-changing seasons that define the face of our native land.
My body has frozen in our frosts and in our latter day snows. It has thawed in the warmth of our sunshine and melted in the heat of the midday sun. The crack and the rumble of the summer thunders, lashed by startling lightening, have been a cause both of trembling and of hope.
The fragrances of nature have been as pleasant to us as the sight of the wild blooms of the citizens of the veld.
The dramatic shapes of the Drakensberg, the soil-coloured waters of the Lekoa, iGqili noThukela, and the sands of the Kgalagadi, have all been panels of the set on the natural stage on which we act out the foolish deeds of the theatre of our day.
At times, and in fear, I have wondered whether I should concede equal citizenship of our country to the leopard and the lion, the elephant and the springbok, the hyena, the black mamba and the pestilential mosquito.
A human presence among all these, a feature on the face of our native land thus defined, I know that none dare challenge me when I say - I am an African!
I owe my being to the Khoi and the San whose desolate souls haunt the great expanses of the beautiful Cape - they who fell victim to the most merciless genocide our native land has ever seen, they who were the first to lose their lives in the struggle to defend our freedom and dependence and they who, as a people, perished in the result.
Today, as a country, we keep an audible silence about these ancestors of the generations that live, fearful to admit the horror of a former deed, seeking to obliterate from our memories a cruel occurrence which, in its remembering, should teach us not and never to be inhuman again.
I am formed of the migrants who left Europe to find a new home on our native land. Whatever their own actions, they remain still, part of me.
In my veins courses the blood of the Malay slaves who came from the East. Their proud dignity informs my bearing, their culture a part of my essence. The stripes they bore on their bodies from the lash of the slave master are a reminder embossed on my consciousness of what should not be done.
I am the grandchild of the warrior men and women that Hintsa and Sekhukhune led, the patriots that Cetshwayo and Mphephu took to battle, the soldiers Moshoeshoe and Ngungunyane taught never to dishonour the cause of freedom.
My mind and my knowledge of myself is formed by the victories that are the jewels in our African crown, the victories we earned from Isandhlwana to Khartoum, as Ethiopians and as the Ashanti of Ghana, as the Berbers of the desert.
I am the grandchild who lays fresh flowers on the Boer graves at St Helena and the Bahamas, who sees in the mind's eye and suffers the suffering of a simple peasant folk, death, concentration camps, destroyed homesteads, a dream in ruins.
I am the child of Nongqause. I am he who made it possible to trade in the world markets in diamonds, in gold, in the same food for which my stomach yearns.
I come of those who were transported from India and China, whose being resided in the fact, solely, that they were able to provide physical labour, who taught me that we could both be at home and be foreign, who taught me that human existence itself demanded that freedom was a necessary condition for that human existence.
Being part of all these people, and in the knowledge that none dare contest that assertion, I shall claim that - I am an African.
I have seen our country torn asunder as these, all of whom are my people, engaged one another in a titanic battle, the one redress a wrong that had been caused by one to another and the other, to defend the indefensible.
I have seen what happens when one person has superiority of force over another, when the stronger appropriate to themselves the prerogative even to annul the injunction that God created all men and women in His image.
I know what if signifies when race and colour are used to determine who is human and who, sub-human.
I have seen the destruction of all sense of self-esteem, the consequent striving to be what one is not, simply to acquire some of the benefits which those who had improved themselves as masters had ensured that they enjoy.
I have experience of the situation in which race and colour is used to enrich some and impoverish the rest.
I have seen the corruption of minds and souls in the pursuit of an ignoble effort to perpetrate a veritable crime against humanity.
I have seen concrete expression of the denial of the dignity of a human being emanating from the conscious, systemic and systematic oppressive and repressive activities of other human beings.
There the victims parade with no mask to hide the brutish reality - the beggars, the prostitutes, the street children, those who seek solace in substance abuse, those who have to steal to assuage hunger, those who have to lose their sanity because to be sane is to invite pain.
Perhaps the worst among these, who are my people, are those who have learnt to kill for a wage. To these the extent of death is directly proportional to their personal welfare.
And so, like pawns in the service of demented souls, they kill in furtherance of the political violence in KwaZulu-Natal. They murder the innocent in the taxi wars.
They kill slowly or quickly in order to make profits from the illegal trade in narcotics. They are available for hire when husband wants to murder wife and wife, husband.
Among us prowl the products of our immoral and amoral past - killers who have no sense of the worth of human life, rapists who have absolute disdain for the women of our country, animals who would seek to benefit from the vulnerability of the children, the disabled and the old, the rapacious who brook no obstacle in their quest for self-enrichment.
All this I know and know to be true because I am an African!
Because of that, I am also able to state this fundamental truth that I am born of a people who are heroes and heroines.
I am born of a people who would not tolerate oppression.
I am of a nation that would not allow that fear of death, torture, imprisonment, exile or persecution should result in the perpetuation of injustice.
The great masses who are our mother and father will not permit that the behaviour of the few results in the description of our country and people as barbaric.
Patient because history is on their side, these masses do not despair because today the weather is bad. Nor do they turn triumphalist when, tomorrow, the sun shines.
Whatever the circumstances they have lived through and because of that experience, they are determined to define for themselves who they are and who they should be.
We are assembled here today to mark their victory in acquiring and exercising their right to formulate their own definition of what it means to be African.
The constitution whose adoption we celebrate constitutes and unequivocal statement that we refuse to accept that our Africanness shall be defined by our race, colour, gender of historical origins.
It is a firm assertion made by ourselves that South Africa belongs to all who live in it, black and white.
It gives concrete expression to the sentiment we share as Africans, and will defend to the death, that the people shall govern.
It recognises the fact that the dignity of the individual is both an objective which society must pursue, and is a goal which cannot be separated from the material well-being of that individual.
It seeks to create the situation in which all our people shall be free from fear, including the fear of the oppression of one national group by another, the fear of the disempowerment of one social echelon by another, the fear of the use of state power to deny anybody their fundamental human rights and the fear of tyranny.
It aims to open the doors so that those who were disadvantaged can assume their place in society as equals with their fellow human beings without regard to colour, race, gender, age or geographic dispersal.
It provides the opportunity to enable each one and all to state their views, promote them, strive for their implementation in the process of governance without fear that a contrary view will be met with repression.
It creates a law-governed society which shall be inimical to arbitrary rule.
It enables the resolution of conflicts by peaceful means rather than resort to force.
It rejoices in the diversity of our people and creates the space for all of us voluntarily to define ourselves as one people.
As an African, this is an achievement of which I am proud, proud without reservation and proud without any feeling of conceit.
Our sense of elevation at this moment also derives from the fact that this magnificent product is the unique creation of African hands and African minds.
Bit it is also constitutes a tribute to our loss of vanity that we could, despite the temptation to treat ourselves as an exceptional fragment of humanity, draw on the accumulated experience and wisdom of all humankind, to define for ourselves what we want to be.
Together with the best in the world, we too are prone to pettiness, petulance, selfishness and short-sightedness.
But it seems to have happened that we looked at ourselves and said the time had come that we make a super-human effort to be other than human, to respond to the call to create for ourselves a glorious future, to remind ourselves of the Latin saying: Gloria est consequenda - Glory must be sought after!
Today it feels good to be an African.
It feels good that I can stand here as a South African and as a foot soldier of a titanic African army, the African National Congress, to say to all the parties represented here, to the millions who made an input into the processes we are concluding, to our outstanding compatriots who have presided over the birth of our founding document, to the negotiators who pitted their wits one against the other, to the unseen stars who shone unseen as the management and administration of the Constitutional Assembly, the advisers, experts and publicists, to the mass communication media, to our friends across the globe - congratulations and well done!
I am an African.
I am born of the peoples of the continent of Africa.
The pain of the violent conflict that the peoples of Liberia, Somalia, the Sudan, Burundi and Algeria is a pain I also bear.
The dismal shame of poverty, suffering and human degradation of my continent is a blight that we share.
The blight on our happiness that derives from this and from our drift to the periphery of the ordering of human affairs leaves us in a persistent shadow of despair.
This is a savage road to which nobody should be condemned.
This thing that we have done today, in this small corner of a great continent that has contributed so decisively to the evolution of humanity says that Africa reaffirms that she is continuing her rise from the ashes.
Whatever the setbacks of the moment, nothing can stop us now! Whatever the difficulties, Africa shall be at peace! However improbable it may sound to the sceptics, Africa will prosper!
Whoever we may be, whatever our immediate interest, however much we carry baggage from our past, however much we have been caught by the fashion of cynicism and loss of faith in the capacity of the people, let us err today and say - nothing can stop us now!
Thank you

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Stop Spending Money Recklessly

The writing is BOLDLY on the wall. We’re experiencing a global economic melt-down. Yes we heading towards economic depression Mr. Governor of the Reserve Bank and you better face it too my brother and sister in the street. The USA faced economic depression in the early 1930’s which lasted about 10 years. The depression was aggravated by poor monitory policy and the ignorance of consumers perpetuated the crunch.

Yes it was the festivities, known as a time for giving blah blah blah yada yada fish paste. In December one could wonder around and still be surprised to see the Khumalo’s and the Jones’ neighbours still competing in buying expensive disposable toys and gadgets on credit. All the stores around are allowing people new credit and people are opening up new accounts and exhausting the very credit they too 12 months to square up. Banks are advertising available loans to pay off all debts, so you will eventually be paying only one debtor – them. Business’ is closing their doors for much longer than the holiday season and our friends and family member are facing retrenchment. Interest rates are fluctuation and the Governor is stocking up on Rennies and Eno’s. Road rage is on the rise and so is domestic violence. Tourists are not arriving in the masses they used to, with the result Guest Houses and Hotels are reportedly not occupied the way they need to be. This is the start of what will become an international emergency if action is not taken by the powers that be. We need constructive international dialogue with goal oriented strategies that will deliver measurable results ASAP!

In the mean time we’ve spend our money on disposable gifts to impress the woman and men in our lives. What did I experience going to the Waterfront? - Gucci, Jimmy Choo’s, Louis Vuitton etc, all dead inside. How long will they last in the Mother City? Not a tourist in sight and the locals are obviously on the other side where the prices are slightly lower-case. Now is the time for the crunch, tightening of the belt and the inevitable yet almost compulsory diet. The superficial excuse: “I must lose weight” – the real reason – “I’m broke as a jail house dog”. When will we learn to save our money for the “winter months” just like those beasts that go into hibernation? My wish for all I know and love and all they know and love and their worlds beyond is fiscal discipline and more fiscal discipline. We have to leave our children some sort of legacy if not money.

Let’s be honest, we cannot live without the dreaded “M” word. Money is not the root to all evil people is. In moments like these the green eyed monster will make its appearance and that will be followed by greed, deceit, destruction and all things negative. And money will be given the blame, when clearly it is the ill behaviour of people instigated by their own ignorance and negligent management of income!

Let me sign out before I’m overcome with passion.
Peace, Love and Prosperity is yours to gain!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

New Years Resolutions

January 1 is a day celebrated by all of us – old or young, boy or girl, married or not, burdened or less consumed. When the clock strike 0H00 we all make sure we have a glass of bubbly in our hands and we kiss and wish our loved ones. We are even civil with a perfect stranger. We hug and sing songs like AULD LANG SYNE and others. Then we go home to nurse our hang over from the old year. First thing we think is NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS. Is there really a point in torturing yourself like that? We all do it, yet we don’t all stick to them resolutions. I stopped making them a few years ago, but this time of year one always feel tempted to make a list of things we wish to either kiss good bye or improve on.
Here’s what my list looked like year in and year out:
10. Reduce debt
9. Eat healthily
8. Exercise/ (make actual) Use gym (of my) membership
7. Stop smoking
6. Lose weight
5. Spend more time with the family
4. Become more organised
3. Learn something new everyday
2. Be more charitable
1. Love me more

How many on that list did I actually commit to the times when I made that list? If I remembered I had the list past end Jan it would be incredulous.

Although many of us deny such we would make up these lists because we feel we failed in certain aspects of our lives in the past year/s. Or we feel we need to improve as people in some desperate way or the other. Don’t get me wrong I’m all for improving and development of self as long as it’s constructive and consistent with the needs of others in our lives too. Too often we are absorbed in our own selfish wants and building up our egos we forget that we are a minimum of a whole yet significant enough to make or break that whole.

I wish you a Glorious 2009 and may your year ahead be filled with joy and laughter. Remember to do good onto others as you too would want others to do good unto you. Lets all be responsible for our actions, be a part of what arouse harmony in your home and in your place of work or study. May the grace of the Almighty God carry you to hights you can only dream of. Let your light shine and may love and peace be what drives your successes in the year ahead. May your winter not be too cold and the summer sun not withhold you from shade. Good luck with the NEW YEARS RESOLUTION. I’ve replaced mine with goals.
God Bless.

Christmas as a Child

My dear (single) mom would work all year through so that we could have food on the table and clothes on our backs. But in December it would be different to her in such that she felt like she worked all year long so we her kids could have an awesome Christmas. When the factory she worked in had their annual break-up my siblings and I would be very excited because we knew we would all go out shopping for new clothes YIPEE! Mom would have a special savings account she’d pump money into all year most year so we could enjoy that Christmas feeling I so fondly remember. She would spend her hard earned money with such joy I recall, because she loved all of us alike.

On the 25th of December at 7 am we would be merrily on our way to Christmas mass and wish all the old aunties and uncles of the congregation A Merry Christmas and of course sport off our new attire. My brother and I would be dressed alike and my mom and the girls would be the mirror image of what ever they would wear…I cringe with that though in mind today. Never the less, we all were convinced we looked sharp and extremely fashionable. With our friends we would compete and see whose clothes looked best, and we all won hands down in our innocent little heads. We shared laughs, ideas of what we thought father Christmas had brought us and whether he really existed. We even shared our sweets…

Then came the Christmas lunch ooooh wow. Granny cooked since the day before and said she only had a couple of hours sleep and nearly dosed off in church as dominee was a little “lang dradig” this year. She’d say that every year though, bless her cotton socks. The entire family would be seated at the table when the clock strikes 1 for mamma’s awesome selection of roasts, yellow rice with raisons and even the festive carrots and peas were delicious. She would make a traditional Christmas pudding from scratch and hide money in it, and each child and adult alike would be so excited and surprised that we found money in pudding. Wow, mamma was awesome she could make veggies taste leka and pudding grow money. Yoh old people are really kwaai.

Time for toys under the Christmas tree. As Gran’s home had no chimney she had to keep the door open for Santa to drop the gifts off. And every year Santa would remember that he had to stop at 28 Hercules Way were Gran lived to drop off gifts for my siblings, my cousins and yours truly. After lunch we would all go and play with our new toys quietly outside while the old people do what they do. I always wondered why Gran didn’t marry Santa the we would have toys all year through…eish she was so silly.

Today not much of all of this has changed. The only sad exception is that mommy and mamma are now in heaven delivering blessings to all God sends them to for they have died and become angels. Oh and now my cousins, my siblings and I have become the old people. Christmas lives on in us and will be passed on in great fashion to our children. Yes we have learned to be a little wiser in spending then our parents and grandparents, but we have an awesome Christmas all the same.

I wish you a Merry Christmas too. Where ever you are and who ever you would be celebrating it with – be blessed and remember the true meaning of Christmas as it was taught to you.

Last Night

Last night I was at a social with friends form church. What an awesome time I had with saved and unsaved alike at the very same venue. My conclusion is that we’re all pretty much alike, we only conduct ourselves with different sets of principles – even as individuals – saved or unsaved.

Yesterday was kind of a down day for me emotionally (in fact the past week was) and I prayed that I would get out of this morbid mood and look at the positives in my life and the past experiences. In particular the positives of the person I’ve met and fallen hard for. Many questions crossed my mind…one in particular; “why me”.

There’s no answer to that question in my mind as yet. We fall in love, we fail in love and we have to heal our hearts when we fall out of love.

Being with this group of friends made me feel as if I actually belong somewhere. Meeting new people made me realize I am not that bad. Talking about my issues of the heart and confiding in my friends made me feel better. Last night I realised I am not alone, and even though my friends are very busy, they’re just a phone call away. Sometimes talking (really talking) from and about the heart has healing consequences.

I came to this conclusion. I deserve to be happy and only I am responsible for that happiness. Yes I wanted to be happy with the one I was with for this past few of months, but I cannot force anyone to be with me. So; last night I realised I actually like myself too much to allow myself all this pain.

Here’s to a new day!
Cheers!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

What is forgiveness? I looked at a few definitions and thought I’d mark them down for you.

It is the act of excusing a mistake or offense.

Forgiveness is the mental and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment .

The free gift of God whereby, upon sincere repentance, the believer's sins are forgiven and he or she is put into right standing with God.

A choice the forgiver makes to let go of resentment held in the forgiver's mind of a perceived wrong or difference, either actual or imagined .

We are all responsible for the level of our personal happiness – this I believe firmly. What we choose to harbour and hold within is who we are bound to become. If we walk around with sadness within us we will ultimately become sad beings. If we walk around with hatred we will ultimately become hateful beings. The same is true with forgiveness. If we are able forgive we will become forgiving beings free from our own entrapment.

Forgiveness has incredible power and enables us as beings to move on to greater things in life. When we think forgiveness we must also think of forgiving ourselves at the same token as we’re willing to forgive the wrong doer. Often we blame ourselves for the harm others do to us. We think: “If I did not go there it would not have happened”. Thinking like this will eventually make us fearful to go out. We also have thoughts like: “If I did not say this that would not have happened”. Should we be mutes? Also: “If I allowed her to do it her way she would never had the need to rebel”. This may all be probable, but unnecessary to blame yourself for a thing that was inevitable anyway. Forgive yourself first. Say, I forgive myself for allowing him to hurt me, I forgive myself for allowing her to take advantage of me, I forgive them for taking away from me....etc. This in my I believe is a very powerful and enabling tool. It equips one with the ability to really and truly forgive another. Forgiving people is truly liberating as it opens your heart and mind to the reality of how fallible we all truly are. We are so conditioned not to make mistakes that we forget to live sometimes. Forgiving others also makes you aware that it’s ok for yourself to mess up from time to time and then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move along. You have only one chance to live your life. Every choice you make will either make or break situations in our lives, but we have to keep on living this one life. Forgive.

Now of course I am not suggesting we should be completely oblivious to the deliberate evil and common destruction of some individuals out there. Be aware; be very aware of your foes as they are real. But it’s probably not even your fault that they are the nasty buggers they are. They are angry at the bully from their past, their daddy did not love them, their mommy never felt it important to hug them, their lives are not what they want it to be, so they want to make your life a misery too. Forgive them, and move away as fast and far away from them as possible.

I once asked someone to forgive me for something I had done. I felt true remorse for the pain I caused that person. My intentions were not to cause hurt or pain, but I did so inadvertently. My motive was selfish and spurred on by the moment, not thinking of the consequences. Be that as it may, I take full responsibility for the repercussions of my actions. When I asked the injured party of my actions to forgive me, the person told me only God has the power to forgive. Even though I understood that very well (and I asked God to forgive me) it still seems necessary for me to get the forgiveness of the person I had hurt. I made peace with it now as I cannot change the past. I must now soar gracefully on the wings of my own forgiveness and learn from the very dear price I have to pay for that mistake. I trust that one day that person will be able to forgive me for what my actions caused.

Another definition for forgiveness could be - giving up my right to hurt you, for hurting me. It is impossible to live on this fallen planet without getting hurt, offended, misunderstood, lied to, and rejected.


Monday, December 15, 2008

TRUST

I'm reminded by the lyrics of a clasic song - When I fall in love, it will be completely. That is and has always been my principle. I dream of being in love and sharing my joys and tears with someone I can trust. But it’s so hard to allow others to know my feelings, emotions and pre-empt my reactions. It is even harder to have the confidence in them to respect me enough not to take (extreme) advantage of me. For me it’s become increasingly hard to share my inner feelings and thoughts with another and to trust that it will not in some way be used against me. So I guess, the inner sense of acceptance is what is really missing from my life.

I wish I could place the confidence in someone again knowing that my feelings would not be used against me indiscriminately. It has happened to me too often for me not to be weary. With the result that I unintentionally and at times unknowingly deprive myself of the joy of having others see who I truly am. Be it safe to say I even have the inclination to sabotage my own chance for happiness. Is this perhaps because I come from a home where I saw my mom unhappy in her relationships? Am I carrying the ghost of her past along with me? When and how can and will I make it stop? I desperately need to learn to trust again.

A few months ago I met this wonderful person and we hit it off like a house on fire. We had our first meeting (I call it a “non-date”) and I thought it would last an hour like most do. It ended 5 hours later with us talking about another non-date. The chemistry was tangible between us, but we both did the decent thing and said good bye for now and went our separate ways.

We then saw each other again, and again, and again… It went really well. We understood each other and we could really relate. Never have I ever experienced such comfort in the presence of another person.

Happy Christmas to me. I screwed this one up good and solid. I didn’t trust that the person liked me enough. I did not allow myself to go to a vulnerable position of relying that the other person will treat me in a fair, open, and honest way. I screwed up! I’m sorry. Now I must find it in my heart to forgive myself, before the situation perpetuates.

What a way to start a blog….